rainbowfire

 
Poem from my novel, yet to be published:

 

We stood still looking

Feeling, unbelieving

To the world, a moment passed

To us, a moment stopped

 

It gripped us,

Shook us

It was real

 

Reality denied

Took us

Separate paths

 

It’s so real it haunts us

It’s so real it left us

Wondering, hoping

To go back

To that moment

Looking, feeling,

This time, believing.

 

The moment passed,

The world moved on

We stood still, unmoving

Forever moved.

I did it! I did it! I completed my 50,000 words in 30 days NaNoWriMo challenge.

50,066 words, 106 pages and 20 days to be exact.

I surprised myself. What is more surprising was it wasn't even as difficult as I imagined it would be. None of those late nights, countless coffees, mind-numbing writer's block. The writing had become a habit. I looked forward to it everyday. I wrote the same time every afternoon, at least 2-3 hours each time.

Throughout the process, I felt embraced by a certain, inexplicable kind of grace.

Did I have moments of doubt? Yes, a few days ago. I felt that the novel was going slow. I felt it wasn't going anywhere. I continued to write as much as I could. Something inside nudged me to use material form one of my dreams at night. I did. A floodgate of ideas gushed through until I finally tied the loose ends of the subplots.

My story is not over yet.
I killed two of my characters and I cried. I have yet to uncover the fate of my main characters. They know their destination. I am simply here for the ride. At least that's what it feels like.

All that is remaining is to complete the main plot, to create the bridge of climax to where it is now and where it all ends.

Maybe my own journey is just beginning. I quote from my novel:

"Our lives are defined by certain events.
Our world goes through a distinct shift.
We are forever transformed by that event.
Life ceases to be the same again."

I'm 30,000+ words into my NaNoWriMo writing marathon.

This journey is taking me to wonderful places. It is taking me deep into a labyrinth of characters that are now becoming my life teachers.

There is a life-defining difference between belief and faith.

This is one of the lessons I am learning as I write my novel. Belief is the foundation of dreams. Belief drive our ambitions. We believe in what we can do. We believe in a new future. We believe in what we can create. We believe in new possibilities. We believe in what we can achieve.

Faith is something else. Faith is about allowing something to emerge. Faith is about trusting something beyond ourselves, something beyond our conscious awareness. Faith is accepting beyond understanding. Faith is acting without fully knowing. Faith is being guided by your own truth.

The danger of belief is the willing of a dream beyond truth. 

Dreams can be sold or handed out to you. It is external to you. You can believe to the point of illusion. When truth is hard to accept, you may destroy it with what you want to believe.

Faith is one's redemption. It is surrendering rather than forcing. It can never be bought nor sold. It just is. It is a universal flow that you tap into. And when you do, it takes you to places beyond what you can dream, beyond what you can believe.

Yes, belief makes possible of what may seem impossible. Yet, it is only through faith that we experience magic.

This novel writing process is different from all my other endeavours in that I come from a space of faith. Faith in the emergence of my characters, faith in the words that will flow, faith in the abundance of a creativity and faith in the Grace of a higher power that allows me to enjoy this journey. The writing is not planned. It is not controlled. It just happens. It continues to flow like a river. I feel blessed.